4 Tips for Cultivating a Mom Crew
Apr 12, 2021
by Dr. Christine Sterling, M.D., FACOG
If you are a mom, you know that having the support of other moms and parents is everything.
Some of us are fortunate enough to have a robust community just fall into place. Luck, timing, location, all come together create a fierce mom tribe.
But not all of us are so lucky. I know what it feels like. I had just a few mom friends spread across the country when my daughter was born. 4 years later, I’ve got all the support I need. But it didn’t just happen, I had to build that crew. You can too.
Here are 4 tips for building your tribe.
1. Look at your existing network
Are there any parents in your life that you haven’t talked to in a while? Any moms you know but aren't that close with? This is the easiest place you can start building your crew. Send a text with a funny motherhood meme, or suggest a playdate. Little by little, gesture by gesture, you can grow a closer relationship. You just need to set the intention to foster that relationship and make a consistent effort.
2. If you are pregnant look for connections at prenatal yoga, birth classes, or look for a mommy & me to join postpartum
Don’t pass up these golden opportunities to make friends. I find it’s always best to be honest and open. For example, you can say “You seem really nice and I would love to get to know some people who will have kids around the same age. Would you like to grab coffee sometime?” This brings me to my next tip…
3. Embrace the awkward
Making new connections or working to bring a friendship to the next level involves vulnerability. There is always the possibility that the other person does not reciprocate the desire to build a friendship. When I was newly postpartum, I made a friend through the peanut app. We took our little ones for a walk, got to know each other, and I invited her to a little gathering at our house. After that, she didn’t respond to my texts. Why? Who knows! It happens! If I had let that one experience stop me, I wouldn’t have the amazing friends I have now. Don’t let a little vulnerability or awkwardness stop you from having the mom life you deserve.
4. Attend a parent-oriented event or gathering
Look for local groups that gather around the causes and interests parents are drawn to. Find one gathering that looks interesting to you, commit to attending their next meeting AND establishing one connection. You don't need a mom tribe of millions, a few amazing people are enough.
5. Join an online community
After going through a pandemic on Zoom, bonding IRL feels like a luxury. Having in real life, in person friends is important. But there is something special about online communities as well. Online you can meet parents from all over the globe who share similar values and interests. I am a big fan of finding the *right* community online. Such a big fan that I created my own membership to better support parents. Come check us out at SterlingParents. com
Listen momma, making mom friends isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t have to be complicated either. I have turned these tips into a simple step-by-step formula in my Building a Mom Crew Workbook. You deserve to have a loving community for yourself and your kiddo. You’ve got this! Start building today!
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